her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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