We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
