Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
