wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
