he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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