She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
