Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
