just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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