Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
