girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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