dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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