yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
