Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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