SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
