all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's blow job season.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
