So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't deserve a penis
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
