i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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