It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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