you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
