It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They took my balls.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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