No subtext here. People are naked.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
