I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
