After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
