perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
