they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
