wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
