Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
