so explain again why im purple
no
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
