he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
