I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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