Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
