She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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