nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
