i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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