I murdered the dance floor call the cops
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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