addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
