Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
