I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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