Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
