I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
