Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
