1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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