I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
