I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
