Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
