She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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