there was a trapeze. enough said
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
