Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
