And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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