remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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