Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
