Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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