I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize