so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just had sex on a roof
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
