It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
