I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize