do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
