Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
