it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
