the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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