i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
